“Gimped” Guild

Gimped

www.gimpedguild.com

Recruitment Contact: Herm (Herm#1536)

Raid Schedule: Tue, Wed, Thur, Sun from 6:30 PM - 10:30 PM

**All times are PST, meaning our raids end at 1:30 AM EST**


Once upon a time we were a top 20 guild that killed !@#$ quicker than most. We returned for legion after a several year absence and are once again looking to kill %^-* and have fun together. We played...how shall we put this nicely...far worse than we would have liked during Emerald Nightmare due to the expected rust from our absence. Our finishing rank was not exactly how we drew it up or what we are used to. On the plus side, we were able to get our feet wet after being gone from raiding for a lengthy period of time and are now eagerly looking forward to resuming raiding at a top level come Nighthold. With that in mind, we are looking for skilled and enjoyable people to mash their keyboards with us.

What does it take to become part of the few, the proud, the Gimped? Here's the short version:

DO

- Play the game at a high level
- Have a life outside of the game (sports, sex, religion, who cares- just do something)
- Be available for near 100% of our raids
- Have a personality
- Enjoy showing up to progress raids as much as Hodor enjoys holding the door
- Be outgoing and join in our banter (no matter how juvenile it may become)
- Be competitive and have a desire to push yourself at all times
- Enjoy taking on difficult content like Kim Kardashian enjoys sex tapes
- Like hookers and blow
- Have the ability to play more than 1 class/specc

DON'T

- Suck at the game
- Talk only about WoW (we are as excited about patch XYZ as anyone, but let's talk football )
- Consistently miss raids, show up late to raids, or leave early for raids
- Treat females in the guild like they are leper pariahs
- Hit on every female in the game like they are the last woman on Earth. Have some standards
- Cause drama like you are a 16 year old girl
- React to difficult content or situations like a Beverly Hills Housewife
- Care more about items than the people you are playing with

While it may seem like we throw darts at a dartboard to determine who we accept and who we deny, we promise you there is a method to our madness, even if it seems like we are just idiots (I mean, we are, but at least we have a plan). Unlike many top guilds, our focus isn't exclusively on the amount of time you can put into the game. We have learned over the years that good players come and go, but good players who are actually enjoyable to play with are few and far between. We have always been notoriously picky with our recruiting, expecting players to be both talented and enjoyable, which can be a novel concept in an online video game.

Contrary to seemingly every other high end guild, being available to raid ungodly amounts of time will not give you a leg up on any other applicant. While we will congratulate you if you desire to play this game 24/7, we have no use for such extreme playtime. Our focus is on keeping our time spent playing to a reasonable enough level that we are actually able to experience life outside of the basement (oh god, the sun, it burns!). Additionally, being the bast damn player on the planet will do you no good unless you have a personality to back it up. Killing bosses is fun and can be an enjoyable experience, but killing bosses with 19 people who you secretly want to stab in the throat is like getting a !@#$%^- while undergoing a root canal.

With that being said, the ability to play your class at a very high level is a must and a requirement for joining the guild. With a more limited schedule than many other high end guilds, we can't afford to spend time waiting around while people learn to move out of fire, dodge ghosts, or interrupt adds. Being the most personable human being in the world is an asset, but unfortunately you also need to be able to press your keys and click your mouse in a way that will be a benefit to our raid.

If you are able to fit all the "Do" items while also avoiding all of the "Don't" items, you may just be Gimped material (may god have mercy on your soul). You may now proceed to www.gimpedguild.com to submit an application to our communist regime (please do not pass go and do not collect $200).